Do you struggle to say no to your children?

If you’re a parent, you’ll be used to hearing your kids saying “can I have this?”, “I want that” and - the real kicker - “but everyone else has got one”.

And if money is tight, saying no to them when they ask for something can be heartbreaking.

You might feel a sense of guilt, pressure or shame - or maybe all three.

Parents staying silent

Children often don’t understand why you won’t let them have that new game or pair of trainers they desperately want.

But that might be partly because there’s a culture of silence when it comes to money.

That’s certainly the case with a lot of single parents.

In fact, recent research from Money Wellness found that two-thirds (66%) of single parents have never spoken to their children about the financial pressures they face. 

So a huge number of children simply have no idea what their parents are going through to keep the household running, and how little they have left over for treats and luxuries.

Costs creeping up

It’s not just one-off expenses like getting them the latest viral toys, gadgets and fashion that are putting parents under strain.

In some cases, we’re seeing the cost of things the kids already have gradually climbing.

And mums and dads simply have to keep up or risk upsetting their kids.

Just look at how Epic Games, the company behind Fortnite, is raising the price of its in-game currency - V-Bucks.

The game itself is free to play.

But many players spend money on extras such as character skins, battle passes and subscriptions, often through small purchases known as microtransactions.

The company says it’s putting up the price of V-Bucks because the cost of running the game has “gone up a lot”.

So if your child is into Fortnite, it’s almost inevitable that they’ll be coming to you for a bit more pocket money to cover the cost.

Help is available

When kids ask for things you simply can’t afford, the financial and emotional pressure can be a lot to deal with.

That’s why it’s so important to ask for help if you’re struggling.

We’re here to give you practical support, such as helping you:

• create a household budget
• deal with your debts
• find out what benefits you can claim

Luke’s story

Luke, who contacted Money Wellness for help, knows the feeling of struggling with money and keeping the kids happy all too well.

When the pandemic hit, his retail business struggled, so he was really worried about making ends meet for his family’s sake.

The pressure spilled into other parts of his life, putting strain on his relationship, and he’d try to work more hours just to keep things ticking over.

But eventually, the situation became too much.

“Things were becoming unaffordable and unmanageable,” Luke said.

“It got to the point where I knew something needed to be done.”

After speaking to a debt adviser at Money Wellness, Luke said the support helped him regain control of his finances.

“They really listened and understood everything I was going through. 

“I didn’t feel like there were any fingers of blame being pointed.”

“They were just really listening to my circumstances and just made me feel at ease.”

Working through a realistic budget helped him see where his money was going and create a plan to deal with his debts.

“After speaking with Money Wellness, I felt there was a structure in place," Luke said.

"I just felt that a huge weight had been lifted.”

Mums and dads shouldn't suffer in silence

Asking for help can make a huge difference.

But so can being open about your finances at home.

Money can feel like a difficult topic to bring up with children. 

But being transparent can actually help them understand the value of money and manage expectations.

If your child asks for something you can’t afford, it can help to explain calmly what you can realistically spend.

That doesn’t mean you have to share every detail of your financial situation. 

But if you let children know that money has limits, it can help them understand why certain things aren’t always possible.

And who knows?

They might understand and react better than you think.