"I still have debt, but it's not in control of me anymore": How one mum regained confidence after £13,000 of debt

After soaring energy bills and a sudden loss of income left her family struggling, Rebecca found the support and tools she needed to take back control of her finances.

For years, Rebecca had been doing what millions of working families across the UK do every month: juggling bills, stretching pay packets and hoping nothing unexpected would crop up.

Most of the time, she managed.

"Most of the bills got paid on time," the mum-of-two told us. "But if something comes up that you weren't expecting – a car repair, a washing machine breaking – it just knocks you back. Once debts start spiralling, it's hard to get it back."

Like many households, Rebecca had already been feeling the squeeze of rising living costs. While bills continued to climb, wages weren't keeping pace, leaving little room for error.

Then everything changed.

A breakdown earlier this year left Rebecca's husband unable to work for three months, reducing the family's income and turning an already fragile financial situation into a crisis.

By the time she sought help, the family had accumulated more than £13,000 of debt and Rebecca felt overwhelmed by a growing pile of bills.

Today, things look very different.

The debt hasn't disappeared overnight, but Rebecca says she finally feels back in control.

"I still have this debt, but it's not in control of me anymore."

When rising bills become unmanageable

Rebecca, who lives in Grimsby with her husband and two children, works part-time as a shop assistant while her husband drives buses.

The family had always lived carefully, but years of rising household costs had steadily eroded their financial resilience. When her husband's income disappeared during his illness, there was no buffer left.

On top of everyday living costs, existing debts continued to grow.

The biggest challenge became energy arrears.

Rebecca says she repeatedly tried to reach a more affordable arrangement with her supplier but felt the repayment demands were unrealistic.

"They just want more than I can give them," she says. "I'm still offering something, but it's just not good enough for them.

"Even if I'm paying this for the next 10 years, I'm paying it. You've got to get it on my terms because I can't give you money I haven't got."

The pressure from creditors weighed heavily.

"They might not be outwardly threatening, but it feels threatening," she says. "Especially the ones that implement bailiffs. It's like, I'm doing the best I can here."

'Our wages haven't kept up with the cost of living'

Asked about rising energy costs, Rebecca doesn't hide her frustration.

"Our wages haven't been going up to meet the cost of living," she says.

"You're telling us, use less this, use less that. What else can we do? Sit in the dark and do nothing?

"We still have a right to a decent quality of life."

Even pay rises have done little to ease the pressure.

"It [the pay rise] equated to something like an extra £10 a week for me. That's not going to change everything. My outgoings have gone up by more than £10 a week."

For Rebecca, the problem isn't one unexpected setback or one expensive bill. It's the cumulative effect of years of rising costs outstripping income.

"We're getting worse off every time," she says. "You can't win."

The challenge of ADHD and money

Alongside financial pressures, Rebecca is also navigating life with ADHD and is currently waiting for a formal assessment after spending years on an NHS waiting list.

She believes the condition has played a role in her financial difficulties.

"If I don't deal with something as soon as I think about it, it's gone," she explains.

Budgeting has often been complicated by impulsive spending and difficulties managing future commitments.

"If I get paid early because of a bank holiday, I might buy stuff. Then by the time the bills are due, maybe not everything goes out and I'll think, 'I'll pay that in a few days.' Then it ceases to exist."

The financial pressures have taken a heavy emotional toll, too.

"I feel like I'm a failure if I can't provide for my family," she says.

But counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy are helping her challenge those feelings.

"It's helping me realise that I've done everything I can. That's not my shortcoming."

Finding support when things felt too much

While speaking to one of her creditors, Rebecca was referred to Money Wellness.

What she found was more than just debt advice.

"The communication's absolutely fantastic," she says. "If I've got an issue, I send a message and someone gets back to me really quickly."

Working with advisers helped her understand exactly where her money was going and create a realistic budget.

"They gave me the resources and the tools I needed to see what's going on properly, rather than this pile of debt that was just getting bigger and bigger."

For the first time in years, she began seeing positive signs.

"A couple of months, I've actually had money left over before payday."

Most importantly, she says, the support made her feel empowered rather than judged.

"It's not like you're doing it for me. You're helping me to help myself.

"It was empowering really. You give me the tools I need and the push I need."

Another financial cliff edge ahead

Despite the progress, Rebecca knows more challenges are coming.

This autumn, her eldest child will leave for university, meaning the family will lose financial support linked to having a dependent child.

For now, however, Rebecca is focusing on what she can control.

After years of feeling overwhelmed, she finally feels she has a plan.

"I feel more positive moving forward," she says.

'Reach out – you can't do it by yourself'

Rebecca's message to anyone struggling with debt is to ask for help.

"You can't do it by yourself. I've learnt that the hard way."

She believes many people simply need someone to help them see a path forward.

"Sometimes you just need someone to say, 'Look, this is what you've got. This is what you need to do.'

"It's like a hand to hold you on the way.

"You're not doing it for me. You're helping me to help myself.

"And that's what a lot of people need – someone saying, 'You can do this. We're here when you're struggling.'"

Image: Rebecca Leaning