‘At 48, I was £70k in debt. By 54, I was able to retire. Find out how I did it.’

Most people would have considered the 48-year-old Toni Graham a success story. A single mum to two kids, she’d gone back to college when her younger daughter was ten and achieved not only a degree but a master's qualification. She’d then worked her way up to a senior management role in the public sector.

To the outside world, she had it all - two great kids, a high-powered job, a good wage and a nice car. But below the surface, she was struggling. She was under immense pressure at work, while at home, she was fighting a drawn-out custody battle. And all the time, she was slipping deeper into debt.

She was spending money faster than she could earn it. As well as having to cover legal costs, she was using shopping trips and meals out as a way to unwind, and felt pressure to live up to a certain image:

“You buy new clothes because you’re in a management role, then yours is the worst car in the carpark, so you think ‘Oh, I better get a better one’… That’s how it all started. That’s how I started getting into debt.”

She admits:

“I was living paycheque to paycheque and I wasn’t enjoying life at all, not at all.”

At 48, Toni suffered a breakdown and was unable to work for nine months. She recalls her colleagues seeing her during that time.

“People couldn’t believe the state I was in. I looked like a really frail old woman. I’d got to 17 and a half stone, I was walking with a stick, my legs were giving way. I was really, really ill. People were shocked when they saw me.”

But from that dark place, Toni transformed her life. Within six years, not only was she debt-free, she was able to retire.

The turning point

Feeling like she’d hit rock bottom, Toni paid for a couple of sessions with a life coach.

“The best £140 I’ve spent in my life.”

The life coach encouraged Toni to look at things differently and taught her techniques that helped her focus on the positives and build on those.

When he asked her what she wanted out of the next stage of her life, she jokingly said, “to retire”.

“I just laughed, but he said, ‘Okay, let’s focus on that, let’s set a plan for you to retire’.”

And that’s exactly what they did.

Extreme frugality

To be able to give up work, Toni knew she needed to save as much money as possible. She became totally focused on reducing her spending.

“I’m an extreme frugalist, so that means you don’t just do little bits to save money, you just go full out."

Actions she took during those early days included cutting her monthly water bill in half by getting a meter installed, switching service providers to save money, cancelling insurance and subscriptions she didn’t need and researching ways to use less energy.

She explains:

“I just bought intentionally, so unless I really needed something or wanted something, I didn’t buy it. I didn’t go near shops, I didn’t do any of that. I started looking for things I could do for free, like for entertainment. I cooked from scratch. I started growing my own food.”

And Toni wasn’t finding her new simple way of life hard.

“I was living on about £10,000 a year basically and paying everything else off, and I loved it.”

Boosting her income

As well as reducing her spending, Toni took every chance she could to boost her income. She signed up for any overtime on offer and even started lecturing at her local college on her day off. She also sold items she didn’t need.

And she didn’t feel worn down by the extra hours and the hard work either.

“It gave me a purpose.”

Toni lost three and a half stone in the six years between adopting extreme frugality and leaving work. She puts this down to healthier habits and being happier.

Paying off her debts

When Toni first set her sights on retirement, she had £70,000 of debt, including car finance, credit cards and loans. So she set SMART goals for paying off what she owed. SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. Having clearly defined and realistic targets motivated her to pay off her debts in just five years.

Budgeting

Toni says flexibility when budgeting is vital. She suggests moving savings you make in one area, e.g. cleaning, to cover price increases you have no control over in another area, e.g. council tax.

Since giving up work, Toni has been living on a pension of less than £600 a month. As soon as she receives it, she pays some of it into her savings or emergency fund, so the only money left in her current account is the amount set aside in her budget. This discourages her from unintentional spending and means she has money to cover unexpected expenses so she no longer has to borrow to get by.

Toni finds it more effective to set an annual rather than a monthly budget, as some months are more expensive than others.

For example, her annual food budget is £700, but she might spend a significant proportion of this in November when she says it’s possible to get meat joints at half price. She uses these joints to make mince, sausages and steaks and then freezes them to eat throughout the year. In contrast, she might spend virtually nothing on food between April and September.

Toni has also found a way to keep down costs at times when a lot of us typically overspend.

At Christmas, she and her housemate make hampers, including homemade treats such as baked goods, sweet chilli sauce, jams and rhubarb gin. They then give these out as presents.

Toni says the hampers go down really well and recalls the first time they gave her housemate’s daughter home-brewed alcohol for Christmas.

“He was really embarrassed, and he was saying ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ and she was going ‘Rhubarb gin! It’s my favourite’.”

Dealing with rising bills

Toni is not immune to the rising bills we’ve all faced over recent years, but says being “solution-focused” has allowed her to keep costs down.

Some of the ways she’s adapted include doing the laundry less frequently, taking shorter showers, giving up watching live TV and getting rid of her TV licence, eating less meat, growing more food every year and staying in bed longer in the winter to avoid having to put the heating on for too long.

“We’re doing that intermittent fasting, so we don’t have to eat breakfast. We’ll eat from half past ten til half past five, and that’s our window for eating, and that cuts out a meal ... That’s the new thing we’ve done this year to save money.”

Toni believes it’s all about attitude.

“It’s a mindset.

“Worry doesn’t help you at all. Nothing’s going to happen if you just worry.

“When I was thinking, ‘I’m getting more lame, I’m getting older,’ when I was at work, I was getting more lame, but when I focused on positive things I could do and started doing more exercises, I just changed. I stopped being lame and needing a stick.”

Tips for cutting costs

Toni says if you’re overspending, it’s a good idea to try to spot patterns e.g. are you splashing out at particular times of the month or when you’re with certain friends? Once a pattern is identified, you can focus on changing that habit.

She also says you need to work out your priorities. Some people may be able to cut down on breaks away. For others, those trips may be vital to maintain good mental health. Some people may be able to cancel their gym membership and find free ways to exercise. For others, going to the gym may be an important part of their social life. Think about what you can sacrifice without feeling deprived.

Toni insists that little changes can make a big difference. Over two years, she cut her toiletry budget by a third with just small adjustments e.g. using bars of soap instead of liquid soap and making her own washing detergent from conkers.

“It’s habits. It’s like probably 200 habits in a day of saving money, like washing your bags out that you’ve had in the freezer, just the tiny little things that you automatically do… saving your fat from your bacon that you’ve cooked or making your own lard, anything, you know, all these little things add up.”

Learn new skills

Every year, Toni also sets herself a goal to learn four new things, and the skills she’s picked up – e.g. foraging - have helped her save money.

And learning new skills doesn’t have to cost you anything. Toni suggests watching YouTube videos or attending free courses at local community centres.

Connect with others

Toni also relies on others to help her live as frugally as possible. She says car sharing, borrowing tools, swapping items and bartering goods and services are just a few of the ways people can help each other save money.

She’s set up a Facebook group where like-minded individuals share tips and encouragement. Group members have even given Toni a laptop and a holiday, and she now considers the people she’s met online as some of her best friends.

“I feel like I’ve met my tribe.”

Set yourself challenges

Toni says setting yourself challenges is a good way to stay motivated to save money. For example, she has a calendar on the wall and adds a cross every time she has a no-spend day.

“It’s like ‘Right I’m going to do better next month, I’m going to do more next month,’ so it’s like a challenge.”

It’s not about deprivation

Toni is keen to point out that being frugal isn’t about depriving yourself. She gives herself some pocket money every month so she can meet friends for a drink or treat her grandson to a toy from the charity shop.

“That stops you from being deprived because I think that’s really important. If you’re on a big journey to get rid of debt, it’s really important to celebrate your successes.”

The future

Since adopting extreme frugality and escaping the cycle of debt, Toni hasn’t looked back. She turns 65 this year and is excited for the future. She says living without relying on borrowing is truly liberating and has drastically reduced her stress levels.

“I feel richer now than I’ve ever felt in my life. I have more choice now, I have more freedom now than I’ve ever had in my life, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

“I’m really happy and I’ve had ten happy years.”

Visit Toni’s website for money-saving tips, simple recipes and advice on growing your own food, foraging, preserving and wellbeing.