Dosh dilemma: Aisha and her partner never talk about money

Aisha and her partner get on well, but there’s one subject they almost never talk about - money.

They have separate bank accounts and split some household costs, but neither has a clear picture of the other’s finances. Most of the time, it seems to work.

Until it doesn’t.

One month, Aisha got a notification from her bank saying a bill was about to come out that would put her into an unarranged overdraft.

When she looked at their finances, she was shocked at just how much their everyday spending had crept up. Household bills have increased and they’re still paying for a subscription they no longer use.

Aisha wants to sit down and work it out but her partner would rather avoid the conversation.

What can Aisha do?

The first step isn’t creating a perfect budget, it’s starting the conversation.

Aisha could suggest 30 minutes to look at their finances together, without blame or judgement.

They can start by looking at:

• How much money comes into the household?
• What needs to be paid?
• What’s left after the essentials?

They can then check their bank statements for forgotten subscriptions, rising costs and spending they could reduce.

They don’t have to combine their finances

Talking about money doesn’t mean joining all their accounts.

They could keep separate accounts while using a joint account for shared costs such as rent or mortgage payments, energy bills and food.

The important thing is that they both understand what needs to be paid and agree who will contribute what.

Make a realistic plan

Once they know what’s coming in and going out, they can create a simple monthly budget.

They should include essentials, spending money and, if affordable, something for savings or unexpected costs.

It doesn’t need to be perfect. A realistic plan they can stick to is better than a strict budget they quickly abandon.

They can also agree some simple rules, such as discussing larger purchases while allowing each person some money to spend independently.

If things are already difficult

If they’re struggling to pay bills, missing payments or relying on credit to cover everyday costs, they shouldn’t ignore it.

They can speak to their creditors and seek free, independent debt advice. Getting help early can make it easier to understand their options.

Aisha and her partner don’t need to have all the answers. They just need to start talking.

A regular money chat can help them understand where their money is going, plan for bills and deal with problems before they become bigger ones.

Money conversations might feel uncomfortable, but avoiding them can cost much more.