Dosh dilemma: Sarah’s daughter keeps asking for things she can’t afford

Sarah wants to give her daughter the best she can. But lately, there always seems to be something else she wants.

It might be the latest trainers, a new game, clothes she’s seen her friends wearing, or a trip she’s been invited on.

But when money is already tight, Sarah simply can’t keep saying yes.

Sarah feels guilty

Sarah remembers wanting things as a child that her own family couldn’t afford.

So when she can afford to buy something, she sometimes wonders why she shouldn’t.

But saying yes too often has started to leave her worrying about money afterwards.

She doesn’t want to use credit or dip into savings just to keep up with what other families are buying.

So, what can Sarah do?

Sarah doesn’t have to stop buying treats altogether.

Instead, she could introduce some simple boundaries.

Set a budget for treats

Sarah could decide how much she can comfortably spend on non-essential treats each month.

Once that money is gone, she has a clear reason to say no.

It also means she doesn’t have to make a new decision every time her daughter asks for something.

Talk about wants and needs

Sarah can help her daughter understand that there’s a difference between something she needs and something she wants.

Food and school essentials are needs but the latest trainers when their current pair still fit are a want.

That doesn’t mean wants are bad, it just means they need to fit within the family budget.

Encourage saving

For bigger purchases, Sarah could suggest saving together.

If her daughter wants something costing £100, perhaps Sarah could agree to contribute £50 if they save the other £50.

This can turn an immediate “no” into a conversation about planning and saving.

And after waiting a few weeks, they may decide they don't want the item after all.

Be honest about money

Sarah doesn’t need to share every detail of the household finances.

But she can explain that money is limited.

Instead of saying, “We can’t afford anything,” she could say:

“We have money for the things we need, but we can’t buy everything we want.”

This helps set a boundary without making her daughter feel responsible for the family's finances.

Don’t compare yourself to other parents

Sarah might wonder how other families seem to afford everything.

But she doesn’t know their financial situation or priorities.

Another family’s spending doesn’t need to become her benchmark.

Saying no doesn’t make Sarah a bad parent

Sarah doesn’t have to buy everything her child asks for to be a good parent.

Learning to wait, save and make choices about money can be valuable lessons in itself.

She can still give her child treats and experiences without putting her household finances under pressure.

Sometimes, the best answer isn't “yes” or “no”, it’s “let’s see how we can make it work.”