Father’s Day: why we need to talk about single dads

This Father’s Day, we’re shining a light on a group of people who don’t get talked about enough - single dads.

While mums are often the focus in conversations about single parenting, around 15% of single-parent households in the UK are led by dads, according to the Office for National Statistics.

But despite this, very few are asking for financial support.

Our data shows that only one in ten of the single parents we supported last year were dads.

So, what’s going on? Are single dads better off, or are they simply missing out on the support they need, perhaps unaware that it’s out there, or reluctant to ask for help?

Numbers tell a story

Many people assume dads are more financially secure, but the truth is often very different.

Our data shows:

• Single dads carry more debt on average than single mums, £17,000 compared to £13,000.
• They’re more likely to be working full-time or self-employed (13% vs 4%).

• In single-child households, the income of single dads is £130 less per month than single mums, but their costs are only £40 lower, leaving them in a worse financial position overall.

• This may be partly due to fewer benefit claims, only 85% of the single dads we help are receiving benefits versus 99% of single mums.
• Men in general are less likely to tell us about vulnerabilities than women, and this is also the case in single dads (59%) vs single mums (66%).

Our data sends a clear message - many dads are struggling but they’re not getting the same help as mums.

To explore the issue further, we spoke with Luke Smyth from Dad Matters in Salford.

Dad Matters is a project run by Home-Start, a UK-wide network of trained volunteers and experts who support families with young children during difficult times. The project supports dads during the perinatal period with bonding, mental health, partner support and access to services.

Why dads don’t always reach out?

One big reason single dads don’t ask for help is stigma.

Luke explained how many dads are initially resistant to seeking support.

“We're sort of brought up to think the man's a breadwinner, that men provide, etc. and it can be really hard to hold your hand up and say, ‘look, I'm having difficulties here’, because there's the stigma of, ‘oh, you can't provide your children, what a waste of space you are…’

“There’s still this idea that dads should just cope. But the reality is, many are under huge pressure, emotionally and financially”, he added.

Our data shows that fewer dads report vulnerabilities compared to mums. Luke believes that this is due to a combination of the stigma attached to men seemingly ‘failing’ and services not always being set up in a way that makes dads feel safe to open up.

“Like postnatal depression”, Luke explained, “for a long time it was considered purely a women’s issue, but the psychiatric community has discovered that this is definitely not the case and it affects dads as well as mums.”

But, in his experience, when a dad opens up about one thing, it can often act as a floodgate to opening up about other issues he’s been bottling up.

A lifeline for dads

Dad Matters was founded in 2017 to support families with young children. The organisation works directly with services that help dads, families and babies, offering everything from free workshops for dads-to-be to monthly walks across Greater Manchester where dads can unwind and connect.

“The walks might just involve chatting about football… it’s really just a space to let things out,” said Luke.

Today, Dad Matters helps thousands of dads every year, in places ranging from maternity wards to community centres.

“There’s no ‘typical’ dad,” Luke explained. “Some are referred to us, some we meet in hospital. We tailor the support to what they need.”

One story that stuck with Luke was about a new dad in a neonatal unit. He was a big man and was worried he’d accidentally hurt his tiny baby.

“He wasn’t bonding with his baby because he was scared. Myself and the nurses worked with him for a week or two, and he soon felt more comfortable and confident with the baby. It was great to see.”

Financial pressures few talk about

Raising a child has never been cheap and it’s getting more expensive. In 2024, the cost of bringing up a child to the age of 18 was estimated at £260,000 for a couple and £290,000 for a lone parent, according to Child Poverty Action Group figures.

Even working families are struggling. The income of a lone parent with two kids, working full-time on minimum wage, only covers 69% of what they need. For a couple, it’s slightly better at 84%, but still not enough.

So why are single dads often worse off, as our data shows?

Luke explains that maintenance payments are a major factor. Dads who pay child maintenance contribute a set percentage of their gross weekly income, depending on how many kids they support. The Child Maintenance Service calculates this using a fixed formula.

“Most dads are happy to pay because they want their kids to be okay,” Luke said. “But for those who can’t afford the full amount, it’s tough. In my experience, some dads would rather fall into arrears than ask for a maintenance reassessment… again it’s a reluctance to admit they need help.”

Luke also spoke of the pitfalls of the paternity leave system in Britain and the toll it takes on new dads.

“The paternity system in the UK isn’t great, especially when you compare it to Scandinavian countries. In Norway, for example, it's 20 plus weeks for dads,” he said.

“Most dads get two weeks off in Britain, if they qualify. And if you're self-employed, you usually get nothing.”

Luke shared his own story. He left his teaching job just before his son was born very prematurely.

“I felt I had no choice but to go back to work because we ran out of savings. I was looking after other people’s kids in my new job, but I couldn’t be there for my own.”

Single dads often face extra costs, too, especially if they’re separated and need to buy things like uniforms, prams, or car seats all over again.

A system that still favours mums

Services for families are getting better, but they’re still often designed with mums in mind.

“When we train professionals, we ask, is dad a primary or secondary parent? Most still say secondary,” Luke said. “But dads can be primary carers too. It’s time we treated them like it.”

Housing is another area where dads can be left behind.

“One dad I worked with told me his ex-partner got a flat quicker than him, because she had a dog. That’s how low single dads are on the priority list in some places.”

So, what needs to change?

Projects like Dad Matters are proof that support for dads works. In just a few years, they’ve helped thousands of men, many in crisis, feel seen, heard and supported.

They’ve expanded to offer specific help for dads who have experienced trauma or are from underrepresented communities. They even have a dedicated coordinator for dads who’ve gone through loss.

“We always tell dads that the support is there for a reason. You’ve paid into the system, use it,” said Luke.

But for Luke, policy needs to change, and in order for policy to change, attitudes need to change.

“There needs to be the want to change,” said Luke. “Support for dads should be more streamlined and statutory. Give both primary caregivers the right support from the start, then problems are less likely to escalate.”

If you’re a dad struggling with any of the issues raised, or know someone who is, reach out to Dad Matters.