Romance scams are on the rise – how to protect yourself

Earlier this month, the so-called ‘Queen of Con,’ Marianne ‘Mair’ Smyth, was convicted of fraud in Northern Ireland after swindling four victims out of more than $155,000. Smyth, who is US-born, posed as the heiress to a $30 million fortune.

Just a week later, reports surfaced that an Israeli conman, known as the ‘Tinder Swindler’, was arrested in Georgia. He had posed as a wealthy diamond mogul to defraud multiple women.

Despite regular media coverage, romance scams continue to thrive, particularly among older age groups.

According to new data from Lloyds Bank, people are still falling victim and losing large sums to romance scams. Over the past year, the average loss per victim was £5,219.

Using their own customer data, Lloyds’ research shows:

• People aged 55 and over, cases increased by 52% compared to the previous year.
• A 20% rise in scams affecting victims aged 35 to 44.
• Those aged 75 to 84 lost the most money on average, with losses reaching £8,068, a 15% increase from the previous year.
• The most targeted age group was 55 and 64, which made up 20% of all romance scam victims.
• This was followed closely by the 65 to 74 age group, which accounted for 18% of cases.

What is a romance scam?

Romance scams involve fraudsters using fake identities to build emotional connections with victims, usually online.

They often target people on dating apps, social media, online forums and even gaming platforms.

Once trust is established, the scammer begins asking for money, usually under the pretence of an emergency or urgent need.

How AI is making scams more convincing

Many fraudsters are now using artificial intelligence (AI) to make their scams harder to detect. AI helps them:

• generate realistic and attractive profile pictures
• write fluent, emotionally persuasive messages
• personalise scams based on the victim’s interests and behaviour

This technology allows scammers to build a more believable persona and manipulate victims more effectively.

Common fake jobs romance scammers claim

To seem trustworthy or unavailable for in-person meetings, scammers often pretend to work in demanding or remote jobs.

According to Lloyds’ data, some of the most common fake professions include:

• Military personnel, often claiming to be stationed overseas.
• Oil rig workers, who say poor connectivity or dangerous conditions prevent frequent communication.
• Other popular fake jobs include engineers, doctors, and business owners, often pretending to be working abroad or involved in humanitarian missions.

Excuses scammers use to ask for money

Once a scammer builds trust, they’ll ask for money, usually for an urgent reason. Common excuses include:

• Medical emergencies, often involving a supposed accident or sudden illness. For example, they may claim to have been in a car crash.
• Travel or living expenses, such as needing help with plane tickets to visit, or being short on money for rent or food.
• Legal or financial issues, such as needing to pay customs fees, taxes, or deal with a business problem.

These stories are carefully designed to tug at emotions and create a sense of urgency.

Red flags you may be dealing with a scammer

Romance scammers use manipulation and deceit to trap their victims.

Here are some common warning signs to look out for:

Love bombing

The scammer showers you with affection, compliments and declarations of love early in the relationship to build emotional dependence quickly.

Pushing to move away the dating platform

They often try to shift communication from dating apps or websites to private messaging platforms like WhatsApp, email or text.

Avoiding video calls or in-person meetings

They make excuses to avoid face-to-face interaction, often citing work commitments, time zones or poor internet.

Inconsistent stories

Details about their job, life or location may change or contradict each other, or simply not add up.

Isolation

They may encourage you to keep the relationship secret or discourage you from talking to family and friends.

Vague personal details

They avoid sharing basic information such as their home address, workplace or full name.

How to protect yourself

To stay safe and avoid being scammed, follow these key tips:

• Take your time getting to know someone before becoming emotionally involved.
• Ask questions to verify their identity and story.
• Stay on the original platform where you met them, don’t switch to email or messaging apps too soon.
• Never share your personal or banking details, even if you trust the person.
• Be suspicious of any requests for money, gift cards or wire transfers.

Reporting a scam 

Reporting scams can save other people from getting tricked. Don’t be embarrassed about reporting a scam, as they’re designed so that anyone can fall for them. 

• You can report the scam to Citizens Advice and they’ll pass information onto Trading Standards who will decide whether or not to investigate.  

• It’s also a good idea to report scams to Action Fraud on their website or by calling 0300 123 2040.  

• If you spot an online scam advert, you can report it to the Advertising Standards Authority. 

Support for people with learning difficulties

Earlier this year, the charity Mencap launched an easy-read guide to help people with learning difficulties spot the signs of romance and impersonation scams.

People with learning difficulties may be more vulnerable to these types of fraud, as they might not recognise the subtle social engineering tactics scammers often use.

The guide includes straightforward advice on:

• recognising red flags
• knowing when to ask for help
• what to do if something feels wrong

Encouraging open conversations and offering clear, accessible information can make a big difference in keeping everyone safe online.

Get more tips on avoiding falling victim to scams in our guide on how to outsmart online scammers.