Romance scams are soaring: could you spot fake love?

We’ve all watched the Netflix dramas and thought, “Surely I’d never fall for that”.

But romance scams are becoming more and more sophisticated, and they can happen to anyone, at any age.

Scammers use fake identities, stolen photos and carefully crafted stories to build relationships and gain your trust. Once they’ve done that, they may come up with an increasingly urgent reason why they need your money.

New research from Lloyds Banking Group shows just how widespread the problem is:

• romance scams increased by 24% over the past year
• among 18 to 24-year-olds, cases rose by 59%, the fastest increase of any age group
• almost one in four victims (24%) were aged between 18 and 34
• victims aged 75 to 84 lost an average of £9,051

And it’s not just one generation being targeted.

Younger victims report meeting scammers on dating apps such as Tinder and Hinge, as well as social media platforms including TikTok and Snapchat.

Older age groups still make up the largest proportion of victims, with 19% aged 55 to 64 and another 19% aged 65 to 74.

Those aged over 50 are more likely to meet scammers on traditional dating websites such as Plenty of Fish and Match.com, as well as Facebook and Instagram.

How does a romance scam work?

Romance scammers typically build a relationship with their victim online, using a fake identity and photos to win their trust.

At first, everything can seem completely genuine. They may message regularly, shower you with attention and appear to be genuinely interested in your life.

Then comes the ask.

The scammer will eventually invent a reason why they urgently need money. Common excuses include medical emergencies, travel costs, living expenses, legal fees, tax payments and customs charges.

And while most romance scams start on dating apps, social media or other online platforms, Lloyds says it has also seen cases where fraudsters first approach their victims in person.

So, a romance scam isn’t necessarily something that starts with a dating app match. It can begin anywhere a fraudster can build trust.

Common excuses scammers use to ask for money

Once they’ve established a relationship, scammers may use an emotional or urgent story to persuade you to send money.

Common excuses include:

• A medical emergency: they might claim to have been in an accident or suddenly become ill.
• Travel or living expenses: perhaps they need money for a plane ticket to visit you, or say they can’t afford rent or food.
• Legal or financial problems: they may claim they need to pay customs fees or tax, or that they have a problem with a business.

Seven red flags to watch out for

Could you spot a romance scammer? Look out for these warning signs:

• Love bombing: they quickly declare strong feelings and shower you with compliments.
• They want to move off the dating platform: they push you to continue chatting on WhatsApp, email or text.
• They avoid video calls or meeting in person: there’s always an excuse why they can’t see you.
• Their stories don’t add up: details about their job, location or life keep changing or don’t make sense.
• They try to isolate you: they ask you to keep the relationship secret or discourage you from talking to friends and family.
• They’re vague about who they are: they avoid giving you basic details such as their full name, address or workplace.
• They ask you for money: however convincing the reason sounds, treat any request for money as a major red flag.

How can you protect yourself?

You don’t need to assume everyone you meet online is a scammer. But it pays to take things slowly, especially if someone you’ve never met starts asking for money.

A few simple steps can help:

• Take your time. Don’t feel pressured to rush a new relationship.
• Ask questions. If their stories don’t quite add up, trust your instincts and check the details.
• Stay on the dating platform. Be wary if someone quickly tries to move the conversation elsewhere.
• Protect your personal information. Never share your banking details or sensitive personal information.
• Never send money because you feel pressured. Be especially cautious about requests for gift cards, bank transfers or other payments.

And remember, being scammed isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Romance scammers are professionals at building trust and manipulating emotions. They deliberately create situations designed to make people act before they have time to think.

If you think you’ve been targeted, report it.

Reporting a scam could help prevent someone else from being caught out.

If you’ve been targeted, don’t be embarrassed about speaking up. Romance scams are designed to be convincing, and anyone can be targeted.

• You can report the scam to Citizens Advice and they’ll pass information onto Trading Standards who will decide whether or not to investigate.  

• It’s also a good idea to report scams to Action Fraud on their website or by calling 0300 123 2040.  

• If you spot an online scam advert, you can report it to the Advertising Standards Authority. 

If someone you’ve met online asks you for money, stop and take a step back before doing anything.

A genuine relationship shouldn’t leave you feeling pressured to hand over money.